I like a nice rat. Charming conversationalists if you don’t mind the defensive tone. I met a rat quite recently whose knowledge of subterranean culture was really quite extraordinary. His opinions regarding a great variety of issues, I found to be both informed and refreshing. This particular rat also understood the importance of attentiveness in an engaging tête-à-tête. As well-traveled as he was, he never for a moment hogged the conversation or took on airs. A great shame my cat Princess did not share our camaraderie. She was terribly rude, and I believe she caused him to take his leave prematurely. It’s really too bad. Apparently, Princess informed my mother of the encounter. Mother forced me to spend the remainder of the day indoors. My little brother is a very poor substitute for such illuminating communion. I am bereft.
Never let it be said however, that I am a quitter, nor am I a complainer, therefore I sat myself down, took stock of my options and sought a suitable partner for an informative one on one. Malamar, our resident bunny rounded the corner avoiding the attentions of my brother who was apparently in hot pursuit of Malamar, until the hideous theme of a television program, that my brother for some reason enjoys, became audible. Brother was transfixed by the magnetic rays of the television; a largely sophomoric device. I therefore, secured the opportunity to invite our comely lagomorph to a raucous discussion regarding the unspeakable practice of encasing miniature bunnies in chocolate in an effort to delight unsuspecting children with an Easter “treat”.
I myself have never sanctioned such a practice. Perhaps the topic was insensitive, because despite my attempts to put Malamar at ease by immersing myself in his cultural stance, Malamar continued on his course, overtly ignoring my invitations to commune. I’m sure that he was able to hear me, due to the ample size of his ears. The evidence that perhaps Malamar took particular issue with my topic of discussion materialized in the form of small pellets that he left in his wake.
I am offended.
to be continued…